Last Update Sep. 30, 2017 – Getting your ex boyfriend back is not going to be a simple procedure. Don’t be fooled for a second that winning back his love is an absolute guarantee. In fact, there are never guarantees because each individual is unique and the circumstances that caused the breakup play a huge role in what kind of success you are going to have in this process. With that being said, however, there are a good amount of girls that use this system (with great odds stacked against them, mind you) to woo their ex back in as little as a few weeks!
The main factor of success, as I mentioned, will depend strongly on the situation that caused the original breakup. There are so many variables here that it’s important to really understand what caused the cards to fall in your own relationship. To some it could’ve been a fight. Others might have cheated and got caught. Or maybe it was just a large culmination of things that lead to a mutual breakup. Whatever your individual situation was, now you’ve realized you’ve made a huge mistake and you want nothing more than to have your man in your arms and to call that man your boyfriend once again.
If your answer is that you want him bad enough that you will do anything you have to, then read on because I have some great advice, tips, and step-by-step guidance videos that will give you the absolute best shot at getting your ex boyfriend back and keeping him for good.
Watch this video in its entirety to understand the psychology of the male after a breakup. This is the first step of the process…Imperative First Step to Get Him Back – Watch This Video
Answering the question of how to get your ex boyfriend back. This question provides a foundation from which to build up your plan. Remember, the problem is not the person themselves but the situation and issues which they found themselves surrounded with. It is also important to answer who broke up with who? If you did the breaking up, of course then you know the exact reasons you broke up with the person and can move on from there. If he broke up with you, determine if he explained the exact reasons why he was breaking up with you.
There are some reasons for breaking up which are easy to resolve, such as the feeling that the relationship was no longer exciting for either party. In this case, all you need to do is remind him of the first days when you got together. Take part in some of the fun activities that he enjoys, spend some time alone as a couple intimately and most of the problems are resolved. However, some other reasons such as one party cheating, require time, a lot of talking and figuring out a way forward for the relationship.
Immediately after a break up, we tend to panic that we have lost someone important, a soul mate and significant other permanently. We, therefore, call or text them almost all the time. Calling someone just to check on them sounds slightly clingy and there is no one man on earth that can stand a clingy women. Take time to re-discover yourself, and live your own life. Do not find little reasons to communicate with them all the time. When tempted, call a girlfriend or anyone else who can discourage that behavior.
It is important to note that sometimes he will begin adapting someone else. This does not mean that you become an emotional wreck, miserable and panic that you have lost him altogether. Just because he is with someone new, does not immediately translate to he will never be with you again. A major result of the panic, is trying to prove how wrong the other person is for them. This immediately, cements the new relationship. The best advice is to completely ignore the new relationship and continue with your plans as if nothing else is going on around him.
Many times for women after a break up, we let go of our looks, dressing and even personal hygiene. This means that anyone who is looking at you sees a miserable creature. This is neither attractive nor is it a sure way of getting your ex back. Take the time during the break up to change your look (of course to something better). Find the short dresses that show off your legs, advertising that you are single. Of course, this does not also mean that you go overboard. Nope, just take some time to look good, feel good and regain your confidence as a woman.
Now that you have been dating the guy, you probably know the things that turn him on and feed to his secret desires. It is time to put these things into action. This lesson was best illustrated by the Duchess of Buckingham herself. During the break up from Prince Charles, she was spotted in fancy outfits, hanging out with friends and seemingly having the time of her life. Not long after, the prince came running back to her. You have to possess what he wants for him to get the desire to have you.
Of course at some point in time during the extensive plan to get him back, you are going to have to make the call. This is not the time to go extensively into the changes you have made. Make it as simple as possible, in terms of language and information. You can actually just ask for some time to go and talk, just the two of you. Do not insist, leave the ball in his court so that he knows and feels he still has some charge in the relationship.
Once you have planned the date, it is not time to go romantic and put all the stops. But rather keep it casual and simple to ensure that they are not overwhelmed. Do not act like a doormat, throwing yourself all over him during this time. Write a love poem to keep distracted. Instead, make sure he understands what you are trying to do, keep it friendly, simple and easy. The result is that he does not feel pressured and therefore is more willing got re-consider his position on the relationship. This is the time to show him the girl he first met, liked and then fell in love with.
A cautionary tale exists in this plan. Neediness and using pity will only backfire in your face. Also, it is important to note that even when you have done everything you can, there are times when the relationship has just run its course.
So now that we’ve covered in great detail some critical action points you can take right now to move in the right direction towards winning back the person you fell in love with long ago, let’s dig deeper into the absolute top 3 steps you must take if you want any chance of calling him your boyfriend again.
“At first, do no harm” is actually an old Hippocratic Oath that applies mostly to doctors, but I think it’s a good metaphor to use after a breakup as well…especially if your end goal is to get back with your ex boyfriend. The absolute first step to take is to make sure you don’t do anything stupid and make things worse than they already are.
You are going to want to call him. You are going to want to text him. You are going to want to go running back to him. You may even want to key his car and take a bat to his house. But don’t do any of it! Keep your emotions in check in don’t make anything worse than they might already be.
Don’t say anything stupid. Don’t do anything stupid. In-fact, don’t do anything at all until you have a clear head, which could take some time. This leads to the next step…
Ok so you’re not together with your boyfriend anymore. While it may seem overwhelming at first, it really is best to take a step back and focus back on yourself for the time being. You certainly don’t want to make any rash decision and ultimately blow and chance at hell you had at getting him back. So heed this advice and take a step back to ponder the entire situation and just take yourself out of all of the negative feelings you have in your body and mind right now. You’ve been single before and were just fine. Even if things don’t happen to work out again between the two of you, just take comfort in the fact that you were fine before and you will, no doubt, be fine again.
Once you’ve gathered your feelings and put yourself back in check again, you’ll be able to make better decisions moving forward. Take a deep breath and realize that everything is going to be alright no matter what!
This is a real possibility, no doubt. It’s most likely NOT going to happen though, depending on your breakup circumstance again. But truth be told, if he’s acting that fast to replace you, it’s probably best you move on anyway. Maybe things weren’t as great as you thought and it is possible that love (or lust) can really play with the emotions in your head and cause some serious delusions.
Since this not likely true and doubtful that your ex would replace you that fast, it’s best to not even think about this at the time being. Taking a step back means just that. Let everything go for a bit and take a timeout from dealing with any boy issues at the present. You need a clear head and clear thoughts that aren’t clouded by irrational and unlikely hypotheticals. Don’t even let your thoughts go there.
This is a tough question to answer because there is no real ‘right answer’ here. Typically I would advise to give yourself at least a month, if not 2, to really get your mind clear. At first it will seem tough, but the longer you hang in there with this timeout, the longer you will start to see things more clearly and the more rational your actions will be moving forward.
If after a month or 2 you still feel the same and you still know you want him back, then you’ll know it’s the right decision and then and only then should you start to make plans moving forward.
By all means, go ahead and talk to him and reply to him at will. Just don’t do it in haste and don’t you be the one taking the initiative. Trust me. When you are taking this time to yourself and clearing your head, he will be thinking about you the entire time. The longer you hold out, the more it will drive him crazy and the more likely it’s going to be for him to be blowing up your phone rather than vice versa. When you are taking this step back, it’s going to signal to him that maybe you’re okay without him after all, and that thought alone will drive him crazy.
So please take the time for yourself and after you do you will hold the upper hand in the relationship moving forward.
Now that you’ve made it a month or 2 without any contact, or at least without initiating contact, and you still know without a doubt he is the one you want to be with, now it is time to take the next step in having your man back in your life.
At this point, if you’ve followed the last 2 steps closely, it’s likely that your ex is either going crazy himself for breaking up with you and he wasn’t prepared for how well you’d take it, or he’s thinking that you’ve moved on and he is now only a minuscule piece of your life. Either way, both will bother him so much that you should now have the upper hand and getting him back at this point should be a lot easier for you now.
By this time you should have…
I still strongly believe that nowadays text messages are by far the best way to make your first move. It’s subtle yet can still deliver a strong communication. Plus, it’s harder to screw up a text than by saying something wrong over a phone call or face to face meet up. It’s also easier for a man to read your emotions by voice. A simple text will go a long ways and have him begging for more. You will still keep the upper hand this way.
What kind of text should you send him?
Something that reminds him of you and will get him thinking about you again. This could be any number of things that would make sense, maybe only for the both of you. It could be something as simple as you walking by an ice cream shop that you two use to go to. Or it could be a song, movie, book, or a place of interest. Whatever it is, just let him know that it reminded you of him and that you were thinking about him.
Remember that you’re not going to go all in on this text. You DO NOT want to let him know you want him back at this point. You’re only putting out a vibe. A connection to see how he responds and to get a feel of the current situation.
Another thing to know and understand is that you don’t want to discuss the breakup at all. Don’t even bring it up. And whatever you do, do not tell him you miss him or you’ve been living a nightmare since the breakup. None of that! All that he knows is that you’ve been just fine and the breakup didn’t affect you at all (even if it did).
Your ultimate goal here is to get a chance to meet up with him in the near future. If it comes to it, let him know that it would be a shame to lose such a great friendship and that you two should do something fun and just hang out some time soon.
Now that you’ve arranged the meetup, at some non-romantic place I hope, it’s time to get your game face on. I know you want him back, but doing this the right way to make sure it works out this time will take some time and patience. Play your cards right and all will be back to normal sooner than you know!
The purpose of this meetup is to make sure that the two of you can hang out again and actually enjoy each others company and generally have fun together. So focus on having fun and making him forget completely about all of the bullshit that led to the breakup in the first place.
First impressions are key. But you probably already knew this, didn’t you? What you wear will say a lot about this interaction so plan on wearing something informal, but also something that makes him think hard about what he’s been missing out on. Guys are simple, physical, tangible creatures who like to look and touch things they find attractive. If you look good, he’s going to remember that for a long time even after you first meet up.
Don’t overdo it! You don’t want to scream that you have been looking for attention from him and come off the wrong way. Just wear something you know you look good in but something that you are also comfortable in and could wear out normally.
After your first get together, tell him you had fun and that you’re glad he decided to hang out with you. Make plans to do it again. When he says yes, you’re almost as good as gold.
The last and most important step to get your ex back is to make sure you are doing all the right things and following through with whatever relationship goals you have. By now you should know what caused the original breakup in the first place and so you should also know that if you don’t change the results wont either. Having and maintaining a healthy relationship is hard work that requires plenty of communication from both parties.
I really believe that couples should have similar goals and wants in life to really be compatible and work out good for the long term. Now that you’ve got a second chance with your man, take advantage of it. Things aren’t always going to be peachy 100% of the time, but the way that you two react to tough times will say a lot about your relationship. Take the time to talk to each other a lot and if you guys need a break from each other, just calmly walk away for a bit until cooler heads prevail. Nasty fights and breakups are usually avoidable when couples learn to control their emotions better.
I hope this helps you better understand the kinds of things you will need to do in order to win your man back and live the life you want to live happily and peacefully. The steps listed above and on this site are mostly things I’ve learned from my own relationships and my own experience in getting my own ex boyfriend back.
A large part of making these steps work has to do with understanding how men think and why they react the way that they do. I didn’t get into this too much on this site because I think those kinds of things are best left to the professionals. The people who get paid to help other people like you and I who are so heartbroken after a relationship. It is people like Brad Browning who’ve I’ve learned so much from and helped me personally get my boyfriend back, and still helps me with my relationship issues today.
Anyways, here’s a video I made a while back that talks about my personal experience (and success!) I had in working to get my ex back and why I was so successful. The video after my video is the course from Brad that I highly recommend as well. Thanks again for stopping by my site!Watch the Next Video – CLICK HERE