So you broke up with your boyfriend, or your boyfriend broke up with you. And now that you have been apart for a while, you want him back. You have probably tried moving on but all you can do is just think about all the good times you had, his voice and how much you loved him. Whatever reasons you had for breaking up, it is still possible to get back with him. It might take some time and some work, but you still have a chance of having your man back. Below is an easy step by step guide to getting your man back.
Do not contact him: the first step to getting back together involves taking some time off from him and concentrating on yourself. This is the no contact rule. For a period of 30 days, refrain from making any contact with him. This includes not finding out how he is doing from your mutual friends or looking up his status updates. This might prove to be very challenging especially when you really want him back.
During this time, take some time to work on yourself. Refrain from any form of self-pity and wallowing. Instead, take this time to reconnect with friends, join a gym or get a wardrobe makeover. This is important because you want to look the best version of yourself if you ever bump into him. You want him to know that you are doing well, even better. This should set the right tone for the two of you getting back together.
What caused the break up?:
During the no contact phase, you can also reflect on what caused the break up. If he broke up with you, make sure you know what really led to the break up. Men aren’t usually open about their feelings. They might give one reason for a break up and yet the real reason is something else entirely. Men want to be admired and respected. Although some may say that they also cannot do without sex, admiration and respect come first before sex. When you relationship started, you were in the honeymoon phase when every song on the radio was about the two of you, and you both put a lot of work into pleasing each other. You dressed up for him, complimented him and respected him. But somewhere during the relationship some of this or all of this stopped. This might have prompted the break up. It is therefore important to know the cause of your break up so that you cannot make the same mistake twice.
Work on your mental change:
Refraining from making contact with an ex-boyfriend and working on your physical self is just one of the steps that one can take toward winning back your man. Working on your mental state is also very important. Distract your mind from the emotional pain that you are going through by focusing on your work. This will help you take your mind off your ex. You can also engage yourself in a hobby, write in a journal, have fun with friends by going out to party and reconnect with friends. This is one of the steps that will help you with dealing with a break up.
After the no contact period and working on yourself, it is then the right time to initiate contact. Although many people will disagree with this. Text messages are one of the best ways of initiating contact as opposed to other forms of contact such as making phone calls, writing emails or even the good old physical letters. Text messages give you the opportunity to think before you write something. They also give you time to respond and think of a better response in case you did not get a warm response from him. Make sure that you are in control of your first contact text. This means that you should always be the one to end the conversation. Don’t bombard him with texts. If he does not reply, don’t keep on texting him, instead, wait for a few days before trying again.
Remind him of the good times you had:
After initiating contact with him and getting positive feedback from him, find subtle ways of reminding him of the good times both of you had. Maintain control over your conversations while doing this by being the first one to terminate them. Make sure you don’t pass off as being needy while reminding him of the good times both you had while you were together. This will be among the first stepping stones that will go towards making him warm up to you.
Get him jealous:
By this time, both of you might be enjoying frequent contact with each other. During this time, start hinting that you might be having fun regardless of him not being with you. While talking with him, you can break off the conversation by saying that you are going out with some friends or going for a date. This is to show him that you are beautiful and other men find you attractive. This builds the right foundation for the two of you getting back together. It will get him to the right state of mind that he wants you back.
Start showing concern about your ex by remembering little details about him such as his favorite shows and his birthdays. This might even include important things in his life such as family functions. Reminding him of this will show him that you still care.
Take the risk:
The final step is to finally call him and suggest that you meet for a simple lunch or coffee. Do not suggest anything that will suggest what you immediately what you want from hi such as a dinner. Suggest that you have the lunch or coffee just as friends. This provides the right setting for both of you getting back together. If he turn you down, don’t despair. Reply this in a positive mood and try again at a much later time. This will help you not pass off as needy and in the long run, get back with him.